Still Here

After many years, living struggling and breathing with bipolar disorder, I often feel like I did long ago and wonder if anything can change. This is how I feel still, it's depressing to consider.

I’m here when I know I shouldn’t be. There are no good reasons for my life to have continued this long. I’ve found ways not to die. To breath. It’s just reflex now.

It’s a fluke of nature. I’m a freak of nature

I’m here, again and still.

But I remember. 25 years ago, I was introduced to myself. Hello, crazy man meet bipolar disorder.
 
Hello, crazy man, it’s all the rage and depression and elation and creation.

Hello crazy man.

Welcome to yourself. You aren’t going to happy about what you see. You aren’t going to happy for a long time

25 years ago became 10 years ago. Became 5 years ago. Became now.

Hello crazy man. Look at what has happened.

Look at what hasn't happened.